Crap Surfer Championships Go Down a Storm... Literally

Persistent onshore drizzle, wind, fog and mushy surf made for ideal conditions for the 2011 World Championship of Crap Surfing.

More than 50 self-confessed crap surfers descended onto Praa Sands for the event in a chance to win the coveted world title or steal a prize in one of the special award categories like best wipeout, worst wetsuit, most missed waves and most genuinely upset loser.

Organiser and BBC Radio 6 resident poet Murray Lachlan Young said: “It is a contest that awards merit for the least achievement from the most effort. The Cornish surf is a cruel mistress and some very aspiring surfers were made to look absolutely crap this year.”

Aside from viewing the comical antics at catching waves, more than 200 spectators were entertained by an aptly amusing running commentary by Rick Worthy of Port Eliot Festival.

A panel of keen, experienced judges, that included a woman’s surf instructor, a professional boxer and a window cleaner, marked points for moves such as inadvertently doing something good or performing a magic moment of stupidity.

Apart from the world titles and trophies, there were a variety of prizes donated by local and international surf businesses, breweries and a second hand furniture shop to be won. The first prize was a £250 donation from The Union, Soho.

After five heats and the youth contest, nine finalists braved the worsening conditions as high tide approached.

The final was a hard-fought affair with some contestants struggling to get to the point where the waves broke. Spectacular falls from hapless initiates staggering around in the surf gave the judges plenty of scope for awarding points. Not only was the wave riding techniques under scrutiny; the attire of the contestants and surfboards used were also observed. One competitor chose a large cardboard box over a traditional surfboard and judges witnessed a rare – and possibly homemade - leopard-skin print wetsuit.

Eventually, after much deliberation, theatre director Bill Bankes-Jones swept to success after displaying a series of elegant dismounts from his board. Suki Allday was the runner up after missing most of the waves she could have caught and Kenny Dixon won third position with a fine display of appalling board control.

Bill, speaking from the champions podium said: “I’m speechless. That’s all I have to say other than it’s been fun and I’ll be back to defend a title that rightly belongs to me next year.”

Competitors and spectators were entertained at The Crap Surfers Ball held at the Sand Bar in the evening.

Details of the winners and additional images can be found at www.crapsurfer.com

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